అత్తవల్ల దొంగతనమున్ను, మగనివల్ల రంకున్ను నేర్చుకొన్నట్టు

attavalla dongatanamunnu, maganivalla rankunnu nerchukonnattu

Translation

Deceitfulness is learnt from a mother-in-law, adultery is learnt from a husband. Jealous watching leads to unfaithfulness. At the gate where suspicion enters, love goes out. If the wife sins, the husband is not innocent. (Italian.)

Meaning

This proverb describes a situation where the very people who are supposed to protect and guide someone are the ones teaching them bad habits or corruption. It is used when a person picks up vices from their own guardians or authorities.

Related Phrases

The grandson learnt his lesson, and the grandmother's itching was taken away. The grandmother made her grandson write the alphabet on her back. To kill two birds with one stone. To bring down two apples with one stick. (Dutch.)

This proverb describes a situation where a single action serves two purposes or benefits two people simultaneously. It specifically refers to a scenario where a task performed by a novice for practice (like a grandson learning to scratch or massage) happens to solve a problem or provide comfort to someone else (the grandmother). It is used when a win-win situation occurs, especially when one person's learning process fulfills another person's need.

For the one who learned to have an illicit affair, the one who learned to lie is a companion.

This proverb describes how one bad habit or vice often leads to another. Specifically, it implies that to hide a significant misdeed, one must inevitably resort to lying. It is used to suggest that moral failings or deceptive behaviors usually go hand in hand.

Learn to lie, then learn to support that lie.

This expression suggests that if one chooses to tell a lie, they must also have the cleverness and consistency to maintain it without getting caught. It is used to remark on the complexity of deception and the need for a 'logical cover' when being dishonest.

Like learning how to swim on the ground

This expression is used to describe someone who tries to gain practical skills or experience through theoretical study alone, without ever entering the actual field of action. Just as one cannot learn to swim without getting into the water, certain tasks cannot be mastered without real-world practice.

Life cannot be sustained through adultery and lies.

This proverb emphasizes that a life built on immorality (infidelity) and dishonesty (falsehood) will never lead to a peaceful or successful conclusion. It is used to warn that character and integrity are essential for a stable life, and shortcuts through deceit or unethical behavior will eventually lead to ruin.

The authority of a woman is like the lordship of a Tamballa man.

This proverb is used to criticize situations where people who are perceived as weak or unsuitable for leadership are given authority, suggesting that such leadership will be ineffective or lack real power. Historically, 'Tamballa' referred to a specific community of temple priests who were often seen as non-assertive, and this expression draws a parallel between their perceived nature and the leadership of women (reflecting traditional patriarchal views). It is used to mock a household or organization where the leadership is seen as weak or disorderly.

Like the grandson learning and the grandmother's itch being relieved.

This proverb describes a situation that serves two purposes or benefits two people simultaneously. It refers to a grandmother teaching her grandson how to scratch her back; while the boy learns a task, the grandmother gets relief from her itch. It is used when an action results in a win-win outcome or when someone gets a personal benefit while performing a duty.

Even the goddess of pestilence passes over the woman un- loved by her husband. Because her misery cannot be augmented; death would only release her from her sufferings. Māri or Māriyamma (Sans. Māri) is the fury supposed to preside over the small-pox and other epidemiological diseases. You cannot damage a wrecked ship. (Ilanan.)

This proverb is used to describe a person who is so unfortunate or troublesome that they are rejected by everyone, including their own family and even fate. It signifies a state of total abandonment or being an outcast whom nobody wants to take responsibility for.

Pushing away your own people and holding the feet of strangers.

This proverb describes a person who neglects or mistreats their loyal family members and friends while seeking favors or trying to please strangers and outsiders who do not truly care for them. It is used to criticize someone's poor judgment in prioritizing relationships.

Coming to beg buttermilk and hiding the cup.

This proverb refers to a person who approaches someone for help or a favor but is too hesitant, shy, or deceitful to state their true intention. It describes a situation where someone acts with false modesty or lacks the transparency needed to achieve their goal, much like someone visiting a neighbor to ask for buttermilk while trying to hide the vessel they brought to collect it in.

Pride with poverty. Pride and poverty are ill met yet often together.