చెబితే సిగ్గు, దాస్తే దుఃఖం

chebite siggu, daste duhkham

Translation

If you tell it—shame; if you hide it—sorrow. The allusion is to adultery.

Meaning

This expression is used to describe a predicament or a secret that is so embarrassing it causes shame to disclose, yet so painful or burdensome that keeping it hidden causes deep inner suffering. It is used when someone is caught between a rock and a hard place regarding a sensitive personal matter.

Related Phrases

One sixty-fourth part of folly will bring ten millions of sorrows. A little neglect may breed great mischief.

This expression is used to describe a period of misfortune where everything seems to go wrong. It implies that when luck is not on your side (bad timing/adversity), one problem leads to another, resulting in immense suffering.

Birth is suffering, old age is suffering, disease is suffering, everything is suffering.

Derived from Buddhist philosophy, this expression highlights the fundamental truth of human existence: that life is inherently filled with various forms of pain and hardship. It is used to describe the cycle of life and the inevitability of suffering across different stages—from birth to old age and illness.

There is no sorrow like losing a calf, and no happiness like the yield of milk.

This proverb is used to describe the highs and lows of a livelihood or profession. Just as a farmer feels deep grief when a calf dies (a loss of future potential) but feels immense satisfaction when the cow gives milk (immediate reward), it signifies that every gain comes with its own set of risks and emotional burdens.

If a brother-in-law who doesn't share the burden dies, there is no grief even if the roof beam falls.

This proverb is used to describe a situation where a person is so useless or unhelpful to the family or group that their absence or demise is not felt as a loss. It suggests that when someone contributes nothing and bears no responsibility, their presence is immaterial to the household's stability.

Excessive grief lasts six months, but the grief of losing a child lasts forever.

This proverb contrasts different types of sorrows. While general intense grief or social mourning might fade over a period (metaphorically six months), the pain a parent feels over the loss of their own child (kadupu duhkham) is permanent and remains for a lifetime.

Death was avoided, but the eye was hollowed out.

This expression is used to describe a situation where one narrowly escapes a major disaster or death, but still suffers a significant, though non-fatal, loss or damage. It is similar to the English saying 'to have a close shave' or 'escaping by the skin of one's teeth' but with an emphasis on the minor damage incurred during the escape.

Buying insufficient cloth brings grief until it tears; marrying an incompatible husband brings grief until death.

This proverb emphasizes the importance of making wise, long-term decisions. Just as buying cloth that is too small or of poor quality causes constant annoyance until it is worn out, choosing an unsuitable life partner leads to a lifetime of regret and sorrow. It serves as a warning to be careful in choices that have lasting consequences.

There is no pleasure in riding a dog, and no pain if it collapses.

This expression is used to describe a situation or a thing that is of very low value or trivial significance. It implies that being associated with such a person or thing brings no real benefit (honor), and losing it or failing in it causes no real loss or sorrow. It emphasizes the pointlessness of pursuing something inferior.

The grief of the neck [lasts] six months; the grief of the womb, for ever. The " grief of the neck " signifies widowhood, when the marriage cord is broken. The " grief of the womb" signifies the loss of a child.

This proverb highlights the depth of emotional loss. It suggests that while the sorrow of losing a partner (arti) might fade or heal with time, the pain of losing one's own child (kadupu) is an eternal wound that never truly heals. It is used to describe the incomparable bond between a parent and child.

* Can ch'abbala non morde.

I am not ashamed, the Amâvâsya which is coming to-morrow is not ashamed.

This proverb is used to describe a person who is completely shameless and indifferent to public opinion or criticism. It suggests that just as the moon continues its cycle regardless of anything, the person will continue their shameless behavior without any remorse or change, no matter the circumstances or how often they are called out.