దూడ చస్తే కమ్మలం, గేదె చస్తే నిమ్మళం

duda chaste kammalam, gede chaste nimmalam

Translation

If the calf dies there will be Kammalam, if the she buffalo dies there will be quiet. Kammalam, corrupted from the Tamil Kaimúlam (கைமூలం) is a name given to milk drawn from a cow or buffalo which has lost its calf.

Meaning

This proverb describes a situation where one finds relief or a silver lining in a loss. Losing a calf provides hide for a blanket (a small consolation), but losing the buffalo (which requires a lot of care and work) brings total freedom from the burden of chores. It is used when a difficult responsibility finally ends, even if the ending was a loss.

Related Phrases

If the mother dies, the generation is lost; if the father dies, the debt is cleared.

This proverb describes the traditional roles of parents in a family. When a mother passes away, the emotional connection and bonds between siblings and extended family (the generation) often weaken or dissolve. When a father passes away, the family's financial obligations, inheritances, and responsibilities (the debt/burden) transition to the next generation or are settled.

When the father dies, one understands management; when the mother dies, one understands household responsibilities.

This proverb highlights the specific roles parents play in a family. It suggests that a child only truly understands the burden of authority and financial responsibility once the father is gone, and the intricacies of managing a home and family bonds once the mother is gone.

When a crow dies, many people cry (mockingly), but when a lonely or poor person dies, there is no one to weep.

This proverb highlights the irony and hypocrisy in society. It suggests that people often make a big fuss over trivial or common occurrences (like a crow's death) but remain indifferent to the genuine suffering or demise of an unfortunate, isolated individual who has no influence or wealth.

If one dies during the day, there is nothing for the mouth; if one dies at night, there is no lamp.

This proverb describes a state of extreme, wretched poverty where a family lacks even the most basic resources to perform funeral rites. It is used to highlight situations of utter destitution where someone has nothing to fall back on, regardless of the timing or circumstances of their hardship.

If he dies in the day, there is no rice to put in his mouth; if he dies in the night, there is no oil for a lamp. Rice is put into the mouth of the dead at the funeral ceremony. Said of a miserably poor person.

This proverb is used to describe an extreme state of poverty or a situation of absolute misfortune where one lacks even the most basic resources for necessary rituals. It highlights a state of utter helplessness where no matter when or how a problem arises, the means to address it are completely absent.

If one dies during the day there is no wick, if one dies at night there is no lamp.

This proverb describes a state of extreme poverty or a sequence of unfortunate timings where basic necessities are unavailable regardless of the situation. It is used to highlight a person's miserable condition where they lack resources for even essential rites or survival, no matter when or how the need arises.

If one survives, it is diarrhea; if one dies, it is cholera.

This expression is used to describe a 'no-win' or 'lose-lose' situation where both possible outcomes are negative or undesirable. It highlights a predicament where the choice is between a minor ailment and a fatal one, implying that there is no truly good option available.

When the mother dies, a man's gluttony is seen; when the head is dirty, [ a woman's ] top-knot is large [ and untidy ]. As long as the mother lives her son's greediness is concealed.

This proverb highlights how certain losses or neglects can create a false or superficial appearance of growth or prosperity. In the first part, it implies that without a mother's care and balanced feeding, a child might develop a bloated stomach due to malnutrition or poor diet, which is not true health. In the second part, it suggests that unwashed, tangled hair might look voluminous, but it is actually a sign of poor hygiene rather than healthy hair growth. It is used to describe situations where something looks substantial or 'big' only because of neglect or underlying problems.

At first one Mânika, after the calf's death a potful [ of milk ].

This expression is used to describe a situation where someone exaggerates the value or quantity of something only after it is lost or gone. It mocks people who claim a great loss but didn't value the object much when it was actually available.

Like the daughter-in-law lamenting the death of her mother- in-law. Feigned sorrow. Crocodile tears.

This expression is used to describe someone showing fake grief or insincere sympathy. Historically, the relationship between a mother-in-law and daughter-in-law in some households was seen as antagonistic; therefore, the daughter-in-law's crying is perceived as a mere formality or 'crocodile tears' rather than genuine sorrow.