ఉండమనలేక ఊదర, పొమ్మనలేక పొగబెట్టినట్లు

undamanaleka udara, pommanaleka pogabettinatlu

Translation

Unable to ask them to stay, one creates a suffocating stench; unable to ask them to leave, one uses smoke.

Meaning

This proverb describes a passive-aggressive way of getting rid of someone. Instead of directly asking a person to leave, someone creates such uncomfortable or unbearable conditions that the person is forced to leave on their own. It is used in situations where social etiquette prevents directness, leading to subtle or harsh discouragement.

Related Phrases

Not being able to tell him to go he smoked him out.

This expression describes a situation where someone is indirectly forced or pressured to leave or quit because the other person is too polite or hesitant to ask them directly. It is commonly used when someone creates an uncomfortable environment to drive another person away.

Dammanna's raid won't leave even if told to go

This proverb is used to describe a persistent problem, an unwanted guest, or a stubborn situation that refuses to go away despite several attempts to get rid of it. It refers to a nuisance that has overstayed its welcome.

Like lighting smoke because one cannot directly ask someone to leave

This expression is used to describe a situation where someone wants to get rid of a person or end a situation but doesn't want to say it directly. Instead, they create uncomfortable conditions or make things difficult to force the person to leave on their own accord. It is synonymous with 'indirectly forcing someone out'.

Like saying the dancing bells are old because one cannot dance.

This proverb is used to describe a person who blames their tools, circumstances, or others for their own lack of skill or failure. It is equivalent to the English proverb 'A bad workman always blames his tools.'

Like saying the courtyard is crooked because one cannot dance.

This expression is used to describe a person who lacks skill or fails at a task, but blames external circumstances or their environment instead of admitting their own deficiency. It is the Telugu equivalent of the English proverb: 'A bad workman quarrels with his tools.'

While the one who has nothing cries because he lacks, the one who has everything suffers because he cannot eat it.

This proverb highlights that both poverty and wealth come with their own sets of problems. While a poor person suffers from deprivation, a rich person may suffer from health issues, greed, or the inability to enjoy their abundance. It is often used to describe situations where everyone has a grievance, regardless of their status.

A life without an opponent, and a queen without a maid, go to waste.

This proverb highlights that life lacks vitality or challenge without a competitor or an adversary (vadu). Similarly, a queen's status or influence feels diminished if she doesn't have a maid (dadi) to serve or interact with. It is used to express that certain roles or situations require a counterpart to be meaningful or lively.

The flirtatious brinjal is said to have cooked without any heat.

This expression is used to mock someone who makes impossible or exaggerated claims about their abilities or achievements. It highlights the absurdity of claiming a result (cooking) without the necessary means (heat/fire), often used to describe people who pretend to be highly efficient or magical to hide their laziness or deceit.

While the poor man cried because he had nothing, the rich man cried because he couldn't eat.

This proverb highlights the irony of human suffering. While one person suffers from lack of resources, another suffers from excess or health problems that prevent them from enjoying what they have. It is often used to comment on how everyone has their own set of unique problems regardless of their status.

If he can't keep quiet, put him in the stocks.

This expression is used to describe someone who makes extreme, irrational, or self-destructive decisions when faced with minor discomfort or temporary problems. It highlights the tendency to overreact or choose a permanent 'solution' to a temporary situation.