అలిగి అల్లుడు చెడ్డాడట, కుడవక కూతురు చెడ్డదట

aligi alludu cheddadata, kudavaka kuturu cheddadata

Translation

By being stubborn, the son-in-law lost; by not eating, the daughter suffered.

Meaning

This proverb describes a situation where people harm themselves more than others through their stubbornness or ego. A son-in-law staying away out of anger loses the hospitality/respect he would have received, and a daughter refusing food to protest only ends up hungry and weak. It is used to advise against cutting off one's nose to spite one's face.

Related Phrases

Though the kingdom be lost, the air of royalty still remains.

This proverb is used to describe someone who maintains their dignity, values, or refined habits despite a significant loss in wealth or status. It emphasizes that while material possessions can be lost, one's fundamental nature and upbringing remain unchanged.

Applied to a man who bears the appearance of having seen better days.

Mother is good, but the serving ladle is bad.

This expression is used to describe a situation where someone claims to be kind or well-intentioned, but their actions (or the results of their actions) are harsh or stingy. It often refers to a person who speaks sweetly but fails to provide help or resources when needed, similar to a mother who is loving in words but serves very little food with the ladle.

The woman lost her reputation for three-fourths, while the barber lost his for one-fourth.

This proverb is used to describe a situation where two parties are involved in a shameful or failed act, but they argue over who is more at fault or who lost more dignity. It highlights the irony of trying to claim moral superiority when both parties are already compromised. It is often used to mock people who bicker over trivial differences in their shared failures.

Hang the drunkard! Pour me out a potful of toddy.

This expression is used to describe a situation where a person who is already in a bad or ruined state continues to indulge in the very same behavior that caused their downfall, or asks for more of the thing that harmed them. It highlights a lack of remorse or failure to learn from one's mistakes.

The widow lost three quarters of a pagoda, the man lost a quarter of a pagoda.

This proverb is used to describe a situation where a collaboration or a deal fails, and one party suffers a much greater loss or humiliation than the other, even though both were involved in the same act. It highlights disproportionate consequences in shared failures.

When a man asked a widow to lend him a pagoda, she said she would only do so on his paying her twenty-five per cent. discount. He complied, but never repaid the principal.

A woman who wanders and a man who does not wander are both ruined.

This traditional proverb highlights gender-based social roles of the past. It suggests that a woman who constantly roams outside her home loses her reputation or neglects her household, whereas a man who stays idle at home and does not venture out to work or explore the world fails to provide and remains ignorant. It is used to emphasize the importance of balance and fulfilling one's responsibilities.

Is this miserable wretched woman to wear a veil?

This proverb is used to describe a situation where someone has already lost their reputation or is in a completely compromised position, and then tries to hide or be modest about minor things. It suggests that when the worst has already happened or been exposed, trivial attempts to maintain dignity or secrecy are hypocritical or pointless.

If the daughter goes astray, it is the mother's fault.

This expression highlights the traditional belief that a mother is primarily responsible for her daughter's upbringing, character, and conduct. It is used to suggest that a child's failures reflect the guidance provided by the parent.

Those who fall are not bad people.

This proverb is used to encourage resilience and offer perspective after a failure or a mistake. It means that falling down, making an error, or facing a setback does not diminish a person's character or value. It emphasizes that failure is a part of life and what matters is the ability to get back up rather than the fall itself.

If the son-in-law is my daughter's husband, is the pinch that came with the son-in-law my husband?

This proverb is used to mock someone who makes absurd or nonsensical comparisons, or someone who draws illogical conclusions from a simple fact. It highlights the foolishness of trying to establish unnecessary or impossible relationships between unrelated things.