కన్న తల్లికి కంటతడి, చవతితల్లికి కన్నుకుట్టు

kanna talliki kantatadi, chavatitalliki kannukuttu

Translation

Tears for the birth mother, envy for the stepmother.

Meaning

This proverb contrasts true empathy with jealousy. It implies that while a birth mother (or a true well-wisher) feels genuine sorrow for one's struggles, a stepmother (or a rival) feels envious of one's success or status. It is used to describe situations where some people are saddened by your pain while others are spiteful of your happiness.

Related Phrases

If not to your mother, they said to pray to the Tulasi plant

This proverb emphasizes the importance of gratitude and reverence. It suggests that if one cannot show respect or devotion to their own mother (the primary giver of life), they should at least show it to the sacred Tulasi plant, which is considered a universal mother figure in culture. It is used to remind someone to maintain a sense of spirituality or basic respect even if they fail in their primary duties.

Some things must be hidden even from the mother that bore you.

This proverb emphasizes the importance of maintaining certain boundaries, privacy, or modesty even with those closest to us. It suggests that complete exposure or lack of restraint, even in the most intimate relationships, can lead to a loss of respect or dignity.

* Ἀπέφαλος μῦθος.

Will he who is disliked by his mother, be liked by his nurse?

This proverb is used to point out that if a person fails to fulfill their duties or show respect to those closest to them (like their own parents), they cannot be trusted to be faithful or caring toward others. It highlights that character is consistent, and one who neglects primary relationships will likely neglect secondary ones as well.

Even if he is the King of Delhi, he is still a son to his mother.

This proverb emphasizes that no matter how powerful, wealthy, or successful a person becomes in the world, their status remains the same within the family, especially towards their mother. It is used to teach humility and to remind people that their roots and primary relationships remain unchanged by worldly achievements.

Throw scarlet water over your mother.

This expression is used to advise someone against trying to trick or outsmart the very person who taught them everything. It emphasizes that one should not use their cleverness or pranks on their elders or mentors, particularly their own mother, who knows them best.

The death of an aunt is better than the death of a mother.

This proverb is used to highlight the difference in the magnitude of loss. It suggests that while any loss is unfortunate, the loss of someone closer or more essential (like a mother) is far more devastating than the loss of someone relatively less central (like a stepmother or aunt). It is often used to prioritize or compare two negative outcomes, indicating that one is comparatively more bearable than the other.

One who doesn't feed his own mother is said to buy a saree for his maternal aunt.

This proverb is used to criticize hypocrisy or misplaced priorities. It refers to someone who neglects their fundamental duties or those closest to them, yet tries to gain a good reputation by performing grand gestures for others or distant relatives. It highlights the irony of showing off generosity to the world while failing to meet basic responsibilities at home.

Like pulling away your own mother by the legs and saying "Offer the rice-ball for the maternal aunt."

This proverb is used to describe a person who neglects their primary duties or the people who truly care for them, while performing grand, hypocritical acts of service for others or for outward appearances. It highlights the irony of being cruel to those who deserve love while pretending to be virtuous elsewhere.

When the biological mother's stomach was burning (with hunger), the stepmother's butt was burning.

This proverb is used to describe a situation where someone who is truly suffering or in need is ignored, while someone else makes a frivolous or exaggerated complaint to gain attention or compete. It highlights the contrast between genuine distress and fake or disproportionate grievances.

Will a nanny have the affection that even a mother does not possess?

This proverb suggests that no one can care for or love a person more than their natural guardian or the person most closely responsible for them. It is used to express skepticism when a stranger or an outsider shows more concern or emotion than a person's own family or close relatives, often implying that such external affection might be insincere.