మాట చుట్టమేగాని, పూట చుట్టం కాదు.

mata chuttamegani, puta chuttam kadu.

Translation

A relative in words, but not a relative at mealtime.

Meaning

This expression describes people who offer verbal sympathy or make grand promises but disappear when actual help or hospitality (like providing a meal) is required. It refers to someone who is friendly only on the surface and avoids the responsibility of true friendship or kinship.

Related Phrases

Anxiety exists, but struggle does not

This expression is used to describe a person who talks a lot about their desires, worries, or goals but fails to take any concrete action or put in the necessary effort to achieve them. It highlights the gap between mere wishing and actual hard work.

New tamarind pickle and a new relationship are tasty.

This proverb highlights that in the initial stages, everything about a new relationship or a fresh batch of pickle feels delightful and exciting. It is often used to describe the honeymoon phase of a friendship, marriage, or any new association where people are on their best behavior and the experience feels uniquely pleasant before the novelty wears off.

Is he a blood relation, or a dinner relation ?

This proverb is used to question the nature of a relationship. It asks whether a person is a genuine blood relative (pegu chuttam) who cares out of love, or a 'fair-weather friend' (pettu chuttam) who is only around for financial gain, gifts, or personal benefit. It is often used when someone shows sudden interest in a person's life only when they become wealthy or influential.

A table friend is changeable. (French.)‡ * Vache de loin a lait asses. † Geluk en glas brekt even ras. ‡ Ami de table est variable.

Why wrap the cloth after the gold is lost?

This proverb is used to describe an act of being cautious or taking measures when it is already too late. It highlights the pointlessness of guarding an empty container or vessel after the valuable contents have already been stolen or lost. It is similar to the English expression 'locking the stable door after the horse has bolted.'

The head is a relative, but the tail is an enemy.

This proverb describes a hypocritical or double-faced person who acts like a friend or well-wisher to one's face (the head) but secretly harbors malice or causes harm behind their back (the tail). It is used to warn someone about people whose intentions are not consistent.

The village is full of relations, but there is no place to hang up the sling (i. e. no shelter). Give out that you have many friends, and believe that you have but few. (French.)

This expression describes a situation where one has many connections or resources in theory, but none of them are available or useful when needed. It is used to highlight the irony of having many relatives or friends who do not offer actual help or hospitality during a crisis.

A snake's grudge, a tail's kinship

This proverb is used to describe deep-seated, long-lasting enmity. It implies that just as a snake is believed to carry a grudge for a long time, some rivalries are permanent and cannot be easily resolved. It is often used to warn someone about an unforgiving enemy who waits for the right moment to strike.

No relation to visit or god to worship.

This expression describes a person who is completely alone in the world, having neither family/kinsmen to visit nor any spiritual or religious belief/deity to turn to for solace. It is used to signify extreme loneliness or a state of being a total outcast.

Utterly destitute.

He is nothing to me but my sister's husband ; the millstone is only valued for the grain it grinds. Átṭu is the plural of Áruga ( Passalum Scrobiculatum ).

This proverb describes people who pretend to be relatives or close friends only when they want something or have a selfish motive. It mocks those who establish connections based on greed or immediate material gain rather than genuine affection.

Old relative - Old tamarind chutney

This expression is used to describe a long-standing relationship or someone who has been known for a very long time. Just as tamarind chutney (Chintakaya Pachadi) is a staple in Telugu households that improves or maintains its value as it ages, an 'old relative' refers to a familiar, dependable, and deeply rooted connection. It is often used jokingly or affectionately when meeting a relative after a long time or discussing a very old family friend.