అడిగినవాని ఇల్లాలు గట్టిగా చూచు, తానియ్యవలసినది అడ్డము చూపు.

adiginavani illalu gattiga chuchu, taniyyavalasinadi addamu chupu.

Translation

The wife of the one who was asked looks sternly, and shows resistance to what must be given.

Meaning

This proverb describes a situation where someone is asked for a favor or a loan. While the person asked might be willing, their spouse or family member might show disapproval or create obstacles to prevent the resource from leaving the house. It is used to describe household stinginess or the social friction caused when one family member wants to be generous while another is miserly.

Related Phrases

A mother looks at the stomach; a wife looks at the back.

This proverb contrasts the nature of love and expectations. A mother's concern is primarily for her child's well-being and whether they have eaten (the stomach), reflecting selfless care. In contrast, a wife is traditionally depicted as looking at the 'back' to see what her husband has brought home (burdens or earnings), symbolizing the practical expectations and responsibilities within a marriage.

The mother will look at his belly the wife at his back. The mother will look to see how her son fares, the wife to see what her husband has brought home for her. Come but come stooping.

This proverb contrasts the different perspectives of love and dependency. A mother's love is selfless, worrying if her child has eaten enough (stomach), whereas a wife's perspective (historically in this context) might be focused on the provisions or earnings the husband brings home (the load on the back). It highlights the transition from being cared for to having responsibilities.

* 'Ακέφαλος μυθος. † II domandar costa poco.

Look at the house first, then look at the housewife.

This proverb suggests that the cleanliness and organization of a home reflect the character, management skills, and nature of the woman of the house. It is used to imply that one's environment is a mirror of their internal discipline and habits.

Like a woman obtained by a eunuch.

This expression is used to describe a situation where someone possesses something valuable or beautiful but lacks the capacity, skill, or ability to utilize or enjoy it. It highlights the futility of a resource being in the wrong hands.

Give your daughter away after checking the age/compatibility; give the sickle after checking the handle.

This proverb emphasizes the importance of suitability and compatibility in decision-making. Just as a sickle is only useful if its handle fits the hand well, a marriage should only be finalized after ensuring the couple is well-matched in age, status, and character. It serves as a metaphor for performing due diligence before making significant life commitments.

Look at the house first, then look at the housewife.

This proverb suggests that the state of a home reflects the character, management skills, and discipline of the person maintaining it. It is often used to imply that one can understand a person's nature and habits by observing their surroundings and how they manage their household.

A person will try to dominate the wife of a weak man, but will fall at the feet of someone who is their equal.

This proverb describes the behavior of bullies or opportunistic people. It highlights how some individuals exploit or disrespect those they perceive as weak or vulnerable (symbolized by the 'wife of a weak man'), yet behave submissively or with excessive respect when faced with someone who can challenge them or holds equal power.

Will you show me my grandfather or will you perform his funeral rites?

This expression is used to question someone's contradictory or unclear intentions. It highlights a situation where someone claims to offer a benefit (showing the grandfather) but their actions suggest a negative outcome (performing death rites). It is often used when someone's 'help' feels more like a threat or an unnecessary complication.

A house that sings (is overly festive/extravagant) will eventually be swept away.

This proverb serves as a warning against excessive extravagance and living beyond one's means. It suggests that a household focused only on constant celebration and wasteful spending, rather than saving or maintenance, will eventually face financial ruin and lose everything.

If the person who promised tells a lie, the one who joined/trusted him has to suffer the consequences.

This proverb highlights shared responsibility and the consequences of poor associations. It means that if a leader or a partner goes back on their word or commits a mistake, those who supported or followed them must endure the resulting hardships or losses.