ఇస్తే హిరణ్యదానం, ఇవ్వకపోతే కన్యాదానం

iste hiranyadanam, ivvakapote kanyadanam

Translation

If you give, it is a donation of gold; if you don't, it is a donation of a daughter.

Meaning

This is a sarcastic or humorous expression used when someone tries to mask their inability or unwillingness to do something as a noble act. It refers to a person who, when unable to offer money (gold), offers something else that is culturally 'virtuous' but perhaps inconvenient or irrelevant, effectively making an excuse for their lack of contribution.

Related Phrases

If you perform Sandhyâvandanam there is no merit, but if you neglect it there is sin.

This expression is used to describe mandatory duties or responsibilities that are expected as a baseline. Performing them doesn't earn extra praise because they are considered a basic requirement, but neglecting them leads to negative consequences or criticism.

Land donation if one lives, cow donation if one dies.

This proverb refers to someone who is in a critical, life-threatening situation where they are making desperate promises or sacrifices regardless of the outcome. It is often used to describe a 'win-win' situation for a priest or a middleman who benefits from a person's rituals whether they survive (through land offerings) or pass away (through cow offerings for the soul's journey).

If it happens, it's castor seeds; if not, it's pigeon peas.

This proverb is used to describe a situation where one is prepared for two possible outcomes, often in farming or business. Castor plants grow in low rainfall, while pigeon peas need more rain. It signifies a win-win strategy or a fallback plan where regardless of the circumstances, there will be some form of harvest or benefit.

If given, a wedding; if not, crackers.

This expression is used to describe a situation where someone is extremely demanding or fickle. It implies that if things go their way, they will celebrate (a wedding), but if they don't get what they want, they will create chaos or break relationships (crackers/explosions). It describes an 'all or nothing' or 'my way or the highway' attitude.

Lamentations in the jungle. Of no avail.

This expression refers to an appeal, complaint, or request that goes unheard or unheeded. Just as crying in a dense forest where no one is around to help is futile, it is used to describe a situation where one's efforts to seek help or justice are completely ignored by others.

Poison in the palate, sweetness on the tip of the tongue

This proverb is used to describe a hypocritical person who speaks very sweetly and kindly to one's face but harbors malicious intentions or hatred in their heart. It warns against being deceived by charming words from someone who is internally deceitful.

Crying in a forest

This expression refers to an appeal, complaint, or request that goes completely unheeded or ignored. Just as crying in a dense forest where no one is present to hear or help is futile, it describes a situation where one's efforts to seek justice or help fall on deaf ears.

If you give, [I shall consider there is ] a marriage [in your house] and if you don't give, a funeral.

This expression describes a situation where things go smoothly as long as a person's demands or conditions are met, but the moment they are denied, they cause chaos or break the relationship. It is used to characterize fickle or demanding people who create trouble when they don't get their way.

The impertinent speech of a beggar. ఈ.

Giving away the daughter in marriage without the principal.

This expression is used to describe a situation where someone attempts to perform a major or final act while neglecting the fundamental or essential requirement. In a literal sense, it refers to the absurdity of performing 'Kanyadanam' (the ritual of giving a daughter away) when the 'Asalu' (the basic/original sum or person) is missing. It is often applied to people who try to claim credit for a result without putting in the necessary core investment or foundation.

If you go for courtesy, you will lose your dignity.

This expression is used when someone's attempt to be polite, formal, or overly respectful towards someone who doesn't deserve it results in them being insulted or humiliated. It warns that being too submissive or courteous in the wrong situation can lead to a loss of self-respect.