పెండ్లికొడుకు మనవాడేగాని, చెవులపోగులు మాత్రం మనవిగావు.

pendlikoduku manavadegani, chevulapogulu matram manavigavu.

Translation

The bridegroom is ours, but his earrings are not ours.

Meaning

This proverb is used to describe a situation where someone or something might be closely related to you or under your control, but the resources or assets they possess belong to someone else. It highlights the distinction between personal relationships and ownership of property, or a situation where one's authority is limited despite a close connection.

Related Phrases

A wooden chip matures to become a bridegroom

This expression is used to describe a situation where a child or a person who was once small, insignificant, or looked down upon has now grown up and reached a significant milestone or status in life. It emphasizes the passage of time and the natural progression of growth.

The Velama bridegroom cannot ask, sweep it all on to his platter.

This expression refers to someone who is too shy, proud, or polite to ask for a second helping or for what they need. It is used in contexts where one must proactively offer everything available to a guest or a person who won't speak up for their needs, ensuring they are well-fed or satisfied without them having to ask.

Men of the Velama caste are said to be reserved and modest.

He is a strong man, but his stomach is hollow.

This expression is used to describe someone who appears strong, tough, or influential on the outside, but lacks substance, resources, or internal strength. It is often used to refer to people who maintain a grand facade while being financially or intellectually empty.

If the son is ours, will the daughter-in-law also become ours?

This proverb is used to express the reality that one's influence or claim over their own children does not automatically extend to their children's spouses. It highlights the natural distance or lack of blood relation between a person and their daughter-in-law, suggesting that one cannot expect the same level of loyalty or belonging from her as they do from their son.

Like becoming a groom when the wife passes away.

This expression is used to describe someone who finds a perverse or inappropriate reason to celebrate or feel renewed after a tragedy. It mocks a person who, instead of grieving a loss, treats it as an opportunity for a fresh start or acts with misplaced enthusiasm.

Even if the son is ours, will the daughter-in-law become ours?

This expression highlights the inherent distance or difference in perspective felt toward someone who enters a family from the outside. It is used to suggest that despite biological or legal ties, a newcomer (like a daughter-in-law) might not share the same deep-rooted loyalty or belonging as one's own children, or that family dynamics change significantly after marriage.

[ Are we to put ] ear ornaments on ears that we have never heard of? Said of persons whose pretensions to learning are not acknowledged.

This proverb is used to describe a situation where someone is overly concerned or making unnecessary efforts for people they don't know or things that don't belong to them. It highlights the irony of trying to beautify or help something unfamiliar while neglecting what is close at hand.

The man in front is the bridegroom.

This expression is used to describe a situation where someone chooses the most immediate or obvious option available because they lack the time, patience, or resources to look for a better alternative. It implies settling for what is right in front of one's eyes.

For a good word, everyone is ours.

This proverb emphasizes that kind speech and pleasant behavior can win over anyone. If you speak politely and kindly, the whole world becomes your kin, whereas harsh words alienate even close friends.

The one who is right in front is the bridegroom.

This expression is used to describe a situation where someone chooses an option or person simply because they are immediately available or convenient at that moment, rather than looking for the most qualified or ideal choice. It implies making a decision based on proximity or presence rather than merit.