విన్నమ్మ వీపు కాలింది, కన్నమ్మ కడుపు కాలింది

vinnamma vipu kalindi, kannamma kadupu kalindi

Translation

The back of the woman who heard burned, the stomach of the woman who gave birth burned.

Meaning

This proverb contrasts the depth of empathy with biological maternal pain. It means that while a casual observer or neighbor (the one who heard) might feel a superficial or outward sympathy (back burning), only a mother (the one who gave birth) feels the true, deep, internal agony (stomach burning) when a child is in trouble. It is used to describe how a mother's suffering for her children is incomparable to anyone else's.

Related Phrases

For the woman who heard, her back burned; for the mother who gave birth, her womb burned.

This proverb contrasts superficial sympathy with deep, genuine pain. While an outsider (the listener) might feel a momentary or mild annoyance (back burning), only the person directly involved or the parent (the mother) feels the true, excruciating agony (womb burning). It is used to describe situations where bystanders can never truly understand the depth of a victim's suffering.

Will the woman with child refrain from bringing forth? will the woman who cooked not help herself? One is as certain as the other.

This proverb highlights the inevitability of certain actions or consequences. Just as birth is a natural and unavoidable result of pregnancy, and eating is the natural conclusion to cooking, some things in life are bound to happen once the process has started. It is used to describe outcomes that are certain, predictable, or logical conclusions to a situation.

He is a poor cook that cannot lick his own fingers. * Werden Armen lehet, dem zahlet Gott die Zinsen.

A word heard is not as reliable as something seen.

This proverb emphasizes that hearsay or rumors are not as credible as first-hand observation. It is used to advise someone not to believe everything they hear until they see the evidence for themselves. It is equivalent to the English expression 'Seeing is believing.'

The woman who has gives to the woman who has; the woman who has not also gives to the woman who has.

This proverb describes a social irony where resources or gifts tend to flow towards those who are already wealthy or powerful, rather than to those in need. It highlights that everyone seeks to please the rich, while the poor are often ignored or even forced to give up what little they have to those above them.

The mother of daughters is in comfort (Kushalesu), while the mother of sons is in hardship (Lajjeesu).

This traditional proverb highlights the domestic support system in olden days. It suggests that a mother who has daughters will have help with household chores and emotional support, leading to a comfortable life. In contrast, a mother with only sons might have to work harder to maintain the house or face difficulties in old age if the sons or daughters-in-law do not provide the same level of care. It is used to express the value of having daughters in a family.

Vinnamma's back burned, Kannamma's belly burned. The first mourned the loss of a son-in-law, the second that of a son.— Kannamma signifies ' she who bore ; ' Vinnamma signifies ' she who heard' [ of the death.]

This proverb highlights the profound difference between superficial sympathy and true maternal grief. While an outsider (the one who hears the news) might feel a fleeting pain or 'burn' on the surface (the back), the biological mother (the one who gave birth) feels the intense, internal agony of a 'burning' womb/stomach. It is used to express that only those directly affected by a tragedy can truly understand its depth.

* Det kommer vel der ske skall.

The words of the one who gave a creeper are sweet; the words of the one who gave a leaf-stalk are savory; but the words of the one who has blooming leaves are unbearable to hear.

This proverb highlights human psychology and bias based on self-interest. It refers to a person who praises those who have given them something (even something small like a vegetable creeper or a palm leaf) while being critical or intolerant of those who have plenty but have not shared anything with them yet. It is used to describe how people's perceptions of others are often colored by the benefits they receive.

The eyes of the woman who saw are spears, my mother's eyes are popped grains (popcorn).

This proverb describes a double standard or partiality. It refers to a situation where a person criticizes or sees faults in others (comparing their gaze to painful spears) while viewing their own people's similar actions or flaws as harmless, soft, or pleasant (like light popped grains).

When the biological mother's stomach was burning (with hunger), the stepmother's butt was burning.

This proverb is used to describe a situation where someone who is truly suffering or in need is ignored, while someone else makes a frivolous or exaggerated complaint to gain attention or compete. It highlights the contrast between genuine distress and fake or disproportionate grievances.

The woman who serves food is better than the woman who cooks it.

This proverb highlights that execution, presentation, or final delivery is often more recognized or appreciated than the hard work behind the scenes. In a practical sense, it means that even if someone does all the labor (cooking), the person who manages the final distribution or interaction (serving) often gets the credit or gratitude. It is used to describe situations where the person at the final stage of a process holds more influence.