Family Conflict

This expression is used to describe a situation where a child squanders or destroys the hard work and wealth accumulated by their parents. It highlights the contrast between the creative efforts of one generation and the destructive or wasteful nature of the next.

This proverb is used to describe a situation where someone who is guilty of a mistake or questionable behavior tries to criticize or question others for the same thing. It highlights hypocrisy and the act of 'tit-for-tat' questioning when one's own conduct is not beyond reproach.

This expression is used when someone we love and care for deeply ends up causing us significant trouble, pain, or destruction. It highlights the irony and betrayal felt when a person who was expected to be a source of joy or support turns into a source of misery. It is often used in familial contexts or situations where personal affection led to a regrettable outcome.

This proverb describes someone who does a half-hearted or incomplete favor but demands the full respect or status associated with a close relative or a great benefactor. It is used to mock people who are stingy or perform duties poorly yet expect high praise and recognition for their supposed 'generosity'.

This expression emphasizes the deep emotional bond and sanctity of one's birthplace or residence. Just as a mother nurtures and protects her child, one's hometown provides identity and sustenance. It is used to express patriotism, loyalty, and the importance of respecting and serving one's roots.

This proverb highlights that others will treat your family members with the same level of respect (or lack thereof) that you show them yourself. If you do not value or respect your own people in public, you cannot expect outsiders to give them any dignity. It emphasizes the importance of mutual respect within a household to maintain social standing.

This expression is used sarcastically or ironically when someone tries to cover up their obvious mistakes or bad behavior by pretending to be concerned about their reputation. It originates from a folk story where a daughter-in-law behaves poorly and then asks if she deserves the bad name she is getting, highlighting hypocrisy.

Those who live in glass houses should not throw stones.

This proverb describes a situation where someone tries to hide their lack of progress or authority by asserting that they still hold the means of control. It is used to point out someone who is being evasive, lazy, or trying to maintain power without actually completing the task at hand.

This proverb is used to criticize people who do things beyond their capacity or means just to maintain social status or to show off to others. It describes a situation where a pretentious decision made by one person creates an unbearable burden for everyone else involved.

This proverb highlights a common social bias where the mistakes or harsh behavior of an elder or authority figure (the mother-in-law) are easily noticed and criticized, while the subtle provocations or mistakes of the subordinate (the daughter-in-law) are often overlooked or ignored. It is used to describe situations involving one-sided blame or biased perception in domestic or social conflicts.

This proverb describes a situation where a person has a vast network of relatives or supporters, yet finds themselves completely neglected or without help in their time of need. It highlights the irony of having 'quantity' in relationships without any 'quality' or genuine care.

This proverb highlights the essential elements for success in traditional rural life. It suggests that just as an ox is indispensable for productive agriculture, a cooperative and understanding wife is the foundation for a harmonious and successful domestic life.

This proverb is used to describe the sentiment where people (especially grandparents) often show more affection towards their grandchildren than their own children. In a literal sense, it refers to a moneylender preferring the recurring interest over the initial investment, but in a social context, it highlights how the second generation of offspring is often more cherished.

This proverb highlights the loss of self-respect one faces when staying permanently at a spouse's home (typically referring to a son-in-law) without any financial independence or status. It is used to advise people to maintain their dignity and self-sufficiency rather than relying on their in-laws' hospitality after losing their own means.

This proverb describes a person who neglects or mistreats those who are truly close to them and have a primary claim to their care, while performing grand, hypocritical acts of devotion or charity toward others for the sake of appearances. It highlights gross ingratitude and misplaced priorities.

This expression is used to warn that even if someone is close to us or belongs to us (family, friends, or subordinates), we must maintain certain boundaries and handle them with care. Over-familiarity or ignoring the inherent risks of a situation just because of 'ownership' can lead to self-inflicted harm or negative consequences.

This proverb describes extreme indifference or lack of empathy. It highlights situations where individuals are completely unconcerned about losses that do not directly affect their personal interests or emotional bonds. It is used to criticize someone's cold-heartedness or apathy towards the misfortune of others.

This proverb highlights the stereotypical and intense rivalry or friction that can exist between women related through marriage in a joint family. It illustrates a conflict of interest where one person's gain or survival is perceived as another's loss, reflecting deep-seated domestic discord or lack of empathy between relatives.

This proverb highlights a contrast in misfortunes or types of husbands. It describes a situation where one woman has a difficult, argumentative husband who at least provides an asset (earrings), while another woman has a husband who is so burdened by debt or poverty that he sells off what little they have just to survive. It is used to compare different types of domestic struggles or to show that someone's gain is often lost due to another's dire circumstances.

This proverb highlights the futility or lack of purpose in certain situations. Just as a spinning wheel (raatamu) is useless without cotton slivers (eekulu) to spin, a domestic conflict or struggle (poratamu) in a household lacks traditional resolution or foundation in the absence of the husband (the head of the household in the historical context of the saying). It is used to describe a situation that is incomplete, ineffective, or leading nowhere.